mental strength

Let me start off by saying, I love the feeling of having strength as much as the next guy. I enjoy that feeling of weilding power and knowing that I'm the man. When I say shit and people listen. When I set out to do something it gets done. It doesn't matter cause I'm in charge and I walk around everywhere with confidence. Feeling like a champion and getting respect, That feels awesome.

But the truth is though, that classic strength as we imagine it is an illusion that can only be maintained if we're never humbled. Mental strength is the only real kind of strength because no matter how strong you are, you have a breaking point. Accepting that as a reality and learning to work with it is called the real world. This is why Navy SEALS in BUDS training don't look like abercrombie and fitch models, they look like cold, wet, shivering chihuahuas.

I knew from early on in my sports endeavors though that I wasn't the physical kind of strong like most star athletes, but the mental kind. In school I was a tall, scrony, lanky, 6", 135lb, awkward teenager and as one coach put it I had the arms of a 10yr old Asian girl. I was one of the slowest water polo swimmers never quite making the varsity team and lacked the upper body strength to really excel in wrestling. But I knew that whichever exercise everyone liked doing the least, I could do the longest; I was mentaly tough. Never achieving much in highschool sports I always sort of resented my mental strength though cause I felt it wasn't worth anything. 

Once I started endurance sports I began exceling quickly cause I already knew what it was like to reach my breaking point and be forced to continue. I was familiar with feeling powerless most of my life and this was nothing new. My determination and fire though came from knowing that this time it would be worth it. This time I'd finally see the value of my strength. This time I was gonna be a somebody.

I think its funny now looking at jocks who walk around with shirts that say things like "all day everyday", "can't stop won't stop" or stupid stuff like that cause I know they don't really know what it's like to "go hard 24/8". Even Navy SEALS get to sleep a total of 5hrs throughout hell week.

Me with race director John Wog after the Big Bear 100, May 2014

Feeling Normal Again

This is around Mile 33

     Ahhh, I'm finally feeling back to normal after taking a month vacation to heal my knee. I've been training and doing light runs for the past week now, but nothing over 7 miles. I've been anxious to see how well I'd bounce back to long distance runs, but didn't want to rush it.
Yesterday I went for a 50 mile walk/jog down a bike path near my house, 25miles out and back. I've done this same trek many times before, back when my training was in full swing and I was injury free. I last tried this route about a month ago a little after the Santa Barbara 100, but only made it 25miles. That was when I started getting sharp pains in my right knee and finally concluded I needed to see a doctor.

Pizza pit stop at Mile 49, before the last victory mile home 

    After resting though and working with my doctors, this time it was a complete success with no pain at all. Towards the end of the run my muscles were a little stiff and I felt like I couldn't finish soon enough, but overall it was a fairly pleasant time. With a couple eating breaks at miles 25 & 49 it took me just over 14hrs. Like I said it was a walk/jog, I'm still trying to get back into the flow of running with out injury. All in all though, It was a great training day.

Why I Run Ultras

       Since I've started endurance running, I have to say the single most asked question I hear from people is simply: why? Most people can kind of understand why I might want to run recreationally. Like eating your veggies; everyone knows it's good for you so they might try it from time to time. But Ultras? that's not even healthy for you! So what's with it?
      I have say it's not an easy question for me to answer and not one I'm always in the mood to dissect either. But I do think the question deserves an honest answer.

The simplest answer I can think of is: Because I can

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson

       Life is hard. There's no way around it. And about 99.99% of everything that happens to us, we have no control over. If we focus on that 99.99% it's easy to have an excuse about why nothing great happened. It's the 0.01% that resides in our minds that all of a sudden makes us responsible our lives outcome. We are not victims of life because we can decide what we want to do with what's given to us. 
        For too long, I've seen too much of my family's, friends', and my own potential go untapped simply cause we stopped taking responsibility for it. I don't want that anymore and that's why I run ultras. Not everyone can run an ultramarathon, but I knew I wasn't one of those people. Ultra running has helped me shift from having a victim mentality towards life to a point of view of strength and responsibility. And for the first time I'm being honest about what I'm capable of. Lots of people tell me they think I'm crazy for running 100+ miles; I think it's the sanest thing I've ever done.

Back on the Trail

       

Only about half-way to the top!

     I went on my first trail hike in over a month this morning! Felt great to be back in action! My roommate Graham drove me out to little tujunga canyon about 20mins north of where we live. I'd never been out there before so it was cool to explore some new territory. Once I found a good mountain, he left me there for a couple of hours while he went joyriding on the canyon roads. He's a professional stunt driver, so driving on winding roads is what he does best.


My new Venture Pack

        I wanted to try out my new backpack. I've been using a camel-pack up until now in all my races. It's been great to carry water and a few snacks with me on my runs so far, but isn't going to be large enough to carry enough supplies for extended periods of times in my upcoming races. I'll have to be more self-sufficient. So I got a Venture Pack from Condor Outdoor . It arrived yesterday in the mail and I was excited to put it to use. It's a 28Liter backpack; which is a good size cause it should have enough space for all my supplies, but also isn't too bulky so I can still run with it.



Me, my new backpack, and the mountain!

         I'm not gonna lie, this hike was kinda tough for me. My legs were definitely feeling weak after being on vacation for June. I purposely didn't bring my trekking poles though, cause I wanted to give my legs a little wake up call! This was also one of the steepest hills I think I've hiked before. I'm not sure what its called or how far it was too the top. I found it kind of randomly. When me and Graham were driving, I saw the hill and just thought "oh, that'd be a good one!" So we stopped and sure enough, there was a hiking trail at the base. I knew the mountain was steep when I saw it, but it felt about twice as steep once I got started. That always seems to be the case when judging how difficult a mountain will be. Although once I got to the peak, I felt refreshed. I could feel my strength coming back to me!

Refreshed!

Like I said, it felt great to be hiking again! It won't take long for me to be back up to par. In the next few days I'll test my legs on a 50 miler or so. But for today it was good progress



On top of the world! or at least the valley.

my PLaN of ATtACK!

        Right now there are 79days until the start of the Goldsteig. And as many of you know this past month of June, I've been resting and going to the doctors to nurse a knee injury from the Santa Barbara 100 last month.
            Apparently I hurt my ACL & LCL ligaments in my right knee and they needed to regain some strength. Unlike muscles though, ligaments are too delicate to get stronger through vigorous exercise. So I took a month off from training, started taking vitamin supplements, wore a knee brace, and began physical therapy. I go to Dr. Rekar MD at Universal City Medical Group  . His team and him are some of the best medical professionals around. They take care of everything from chiropractic to massage to physical therapy; its a one stop shop for all your medical needs. I've been going to them for a year now and I highly recommend them.

           Now that I'm back in action and have less than 3 months before my race, lots of people are wondering what are the next three months going to look like for me? What's my plan of attack? Well I've simplified my training from now till the race start into 3 simple steps.

1). Getting Back in Shape!





Me drenched in sweat after finishing a 7mile treadmill run today

          Resting my knee for June has been great, but now it's time to get myself back in gear. I just came home two days ago from a weekend vacation in San Francisco and have officially started training again. I'm taking it slow right now, not doing too much running. Each day I've done 7 miles on the treadmill and an hour of weights. I'm gonna start picking up the pace though soon. I hope to complete about three 50mile training runs between now and August 1st. This should reboot my body to remember "oh yea! I'm still an endurance athlete, not a couch potato!" Also now is definitely the time to start eating all the protein and carbs I can find!

2). Turn up the HEAT

August will be a jam-packed month with lots of adventures! Because the Goldsteig is much longer than anything I've attempted before, I'm not exactly sure how my body will react in the miles past 100. So in order to get a sneak peek at what's to come, I've strategically planned two major races in August that will for sure give me a run for my money and the experience needed to be fully ready for the Goldsteig! The Fat Dog 120 & the Silverton challenge.

                  The Fat Dog. August 15-17, the Fat Dog is a 120 mile point-to-point trail race about 2hrs north of Vancouver BC. With over 28,000ft of elevation gain and a 48hr time limit, the Fat Dog is not for the faint of heart. This race will be great for me for SO many reasons!

• First of all, it'll be my first time running further than 100miles. This will help break some mental barriers in my head and start to make this whole journey look a little more possible.
• Secondly, it'll give me some more point-to-point trail experience like I'll face in Germany. So far I mostly have experience on continuous loop courses.
• Lastly, it has more elevation gain than anything I've done before and the terrain is very similar to what I can expect to see in some of the more difficult patches of the Goldsteig trail.

                The Silverton Challenge. Held August 26-31st in Silverton CO at an elevation of over 9000ft, the challenge is to see how many miles you can run on a 1mile loop in six days. With 250ft of elevation gain each loop, this race is nothing short of a 144hr long nightmare. It may not be a point-to-point trail and you will have an aid station every mile, but  this race is designed to mess with your mind and there is still plenty of invaluable experience to take from this race to prepare me for Goldsteig.

• First, multi day experience. I don't have experience doing races that last longer than 30hrs. So a multi day race like this will help me learn to pace myself for a week vs a day.
• Second, altitude training! Running at 9000ft for six days will get my body adjusted to training with less oxygen. And being 3weeks before I leave to Germany, this will put my body in top physical condition.
• Lastly, how many miles can I run in six days? I started the Goldsteig knowing I had to complete 410miles in 8 days, but I never knew how realistic that goal was for me. This race will serve as a guage to let me know just how close I'm to being ready for the Goldsteig.

With both of these monster races in August its safe to say that this month will be essential in growing as an athlete for me to realistically stand a chance in Germany.

3). Calm before the storm

After a hectic month in August i will have 3 weeks in September before I leave to Germany. This will serve as a time to recuperate from the races in August, also give me a little wiggle room to get any last minute details for the trip in order and fix any quirks in my race strategy that were brought to my attention from the previous races. Like I said, a simple calm before the storm ;)

This Journey is taking a lot of time and training and these next few months will be the most crucial part. I sure can use all the help I can get. If you'd like to know how support me and this adventure you should stop by my fundraiser page .

Also the links to the races I'll be competing in our here:
Fat Dog 120
The Silverton challenge
The Goldsteig Ultra Race

Why is ur Blog Called Return of the Ninja??

My blog is called "Return of the Ninja" cause its a combination of two of my favorite things in life: Star Wars and Ninjas!! Also they both embody the essence and spirit of this Goldsteig journey for me, so the name stuck.

First off: Star Wars!

       Some of my earliest memories as a kid were of watching "A New Hope", "Empire Strikes Back", and " Return of the Jedi" on VHS with my brothers. And being so young, we really really thought that a long time ago in some galaxy far far away the rebel alliance smashed the empire to smithereens and the only reason we were alive and able to enjoy these films was due to the fact that the Empire never had the chance to conquer our planet. I can't even tell you how many hours me and my brothers spent as kids trying to use the force to move household objects. Somehow too we'd always convince ourselves that the cup or whatever moved even just a little bit. As we got older though, reality kinda started to seep in and the idea that maybe they're just movies began to take over.

                    I never liked the fact that our coolest and most daring adventures are lived vicariously through other characters on a movie screen or the pages of a book; so I started creating my own adventures in endurance racing. I liken this Goldsteig adventure closely to Return of the Jedi cause like Luke who discovered his true self and powers in the previous movies, ROTJ is his real chance to put his Jedi powers to the test. I've learned so much about myself and what I'm capable of in my previous races. This Goldsteig Race is the ultimate showdown.

Secondly: Ninja power. 

           Anyone who knew me as a kid knew I was obsessed with Ninjas. That's not an exaggeration. I had the outfit, shoes, swords, throwing stars, bo staffs, books on their fighting techniques, and anything else I could get my hands on ninja related. But unlike my little brothers who liked the anime Naruto, I never cared for the cartoon version of ninjas. I wanted to be a REAL ninja.
                 What intrigued me about Ninjas were their mystique. They were surrounded by legend and had seemingly impossible powers. Their opponents had no chance to fight them since they never knew they were even there. Yet they were real people, not fake characters in a comic book. Their strength though lied in the minds of their opponents. They knew no matter how much honor or armor a samurai has, underneath it all there's a human mind that can question its own abilities. Playing on this universal human weakness gave ninjas their seemingly superhuman strength.
                     To become a ninja not only did you have to control the mind of your opponents but you first had to learn to control your own mind. That's the tricky part and why not everyone can be a ninja; you have to come to grips with your own fear. Most of my closest friends probably don't know how obsessed with ninjas I was as a kid and secretly still am. But I guarantee you if you find me in a rough spot of a race you'll hear me chanting to myself "I'm a Ninja".

my first PosT!

Muahahah! I have just created a blog! This blog, called "Return of the Ninja", is to keep my family and friends updated on my latest and greatest adventure: the Goldsteig Ultra Race. Stay tuned for updates and see this journey unfold!